Leather Pants and Blaise Don't Mix
by From Spark to Flame
Summary: All Draco wanted to do was stay home and make out with his wife. But then this fiasco happened. All because of a pair of leather pants. And Blaise the Idiot. DMHG


Disclaimer: The Harry Potter series belongs to JKR.

A/N: Hmm...My second post today. Yay!

Draco moaned and pushed Hermione against the wall, deepening the kiss. The tongues battled for dominance not breaking apart until the need for air was too prominent to ignore. Draco broke off the kiss, gasping, and started nibbling on her neck while his hands roamed his wife's body. Hermione's moans grew louder under her husband's ministrations. Then Draco- DING!-

"Draco...what was that?" Hermione asked, from between her pants.

"The doorbell...Now let's get back to what we were doing," Draco commented smugly.

"Draco...Go answer it. It may be important." Hermione said, her voice suddenly taking a stern edge. -DING!-

Draco sighed in annoyance, "Fine then." He turned around and started heading out of the room.

"Oh wait!" Hermione called.

Draco spun around, "What do you want to just forget the doorbell?" -DING!-

"No. You just have a smudge of lipstick on your face. Here let me wipe it off," Hermione answered, raising her hand and trying to wipe off the smudge.

Draco wrinkled his nose, "OK. Fine! Stop I'll do it myself," and he stomped off to answer to door.

Draco roughly pulled open the door, sending the person on the other side tumbling down. "Blaise? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"

Blaise stood up, wiping off the dirt. "Damn. Sorry. I just wanted to borrow those leather pants of yours. You know those- Wait what is on your face? Is that lipstick?"

"Blaise..." Draco growled out in warning.

"Never mind. I don't want to know. Umm so can I borrow that black pair of leather pants that you have?" Blaise asked nervously under Draco's glare.

"Accio leather pants," Draco said and in a few seconds, a pair of black leather pants flew into his outstretched hand. "Here you go!" He threw them at Blaise and slammed the door closed.

XOXOXO

"So Blaise wanted a pair of leather pants?" Hermione confirmed.

"Yup," Draco responded impatiently.

"What's he going to do with those?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Wear them. What else?" Draco answered in annoyance.

"I don't know...but why does he need them?" Hermione questioned.

"For a girl somewhere. Now can we please get back to what we were doing?" Draco snapped in aggravation.

"Fine. No need to be pushy," Hermione replied standing up on her tip-toes to catch Draco's lips in a kiss.

XOXOXO

Once again, Draco moaned and pushed Hermione against the wall, deepening the kiss. The tongues battled for dominance not breaking apart until the need for air was too prominent to ignore. Draco broke off the kiss, gasping, and started nibbling on her neck while his hands roamed his wife's body. Hermione's moans grew louder under her husband's ministrations. Then Draco -RING RING RING-

"WHAT THE HELL?! Who is it now?" Draco ranted angrily.

Hermione just gave a small laugh and told him to answer the phone.

Draco glared at his cell phone and opened it. "What do you want?" He snapped.

_"Hey Dray..."_

"Blaise...You again! What now?"

_"Hehe. You know those pants I borrowed?"_

"Yeah...Oh yeah. I forgot to warn you. Don't take them off. They're hard to put back on again. It's a weird thing about them...They shrink..."

_"You should have told me that before. I already took them off. And I can't get them back on! That's why I called you. Help me!"_

"Hmm...Sorry. It must have...slipped my mind."

_"You snickered! You didn't tell me on purpose! You brat!"_

"So what if I did?"

_"I don't know! Just help me! Please."_

"Well...No"

_"Why not? Please! She's knocking on the door and asking why I'm not answering!"_

"Ah calm down you idiot. Tell her that you're busy. And first, you have to beg."

"_Beg?"_

"Yeah. Beg,"

"_Please Dray. I'm desperate! I need your advice. I need your help. Please help me!"_

_"_Fine...Okay so do you see any lotion around?"

"Umm...yeah..."

"Ok. Get it and spread it on your legs. The pants will just slide right up."

"_OK"_

_"_OK. Bye."

"_Bye."_

"OK. Hermione Let's get back to what we were doing," Draco purred slinking up to his wife. -RING RING RING-

Draco picked up his phone and opened it, "WHAT?!"

"_What kind of lotion is this? All my hair is coming off"_

"Your hair? You idiot! That's not lotion! It's one of those hair-removing crèmes that girls use!"

_"Are you serious?"_

_"_Yes. Now let me make out with my wife."

"_But-"_

Draco snapped his phone closed, cutting Blaise off. "So...where were we?" He asked Hermione, pulling her up against him.

XOXOXO

For the second time that day, Draco moaned and pushed Hermione against the wall, deepening the kiss. The tongues battled for dominance not breaking apart until the need for air was too prominent to ignore. Draco broke off the kiss, gasping, and started nibbling on her neck while his hands roamed his wife's body. Hermione's moans grew louder under her husband's ministrations. Then Draco -DING!-

"WHAT NOW?" Draco yelled in frustration. Hermione just giggled and urged Draco to go answer the door. Draco went, muttering darkly under his breath along the way.

He pulled open the door, ready to scream in the person's face, when he saw Blaise standing at the door in a shirt and boxers...BOXERS?

"Blaise...What are you doing here?"

"I...err...she said she was worried and that she was coming in...And I just panicked. I...umm...I climbed out the window..."

"In you boxers...?"

"Yeah..."

"I stand by what I said before...You are an idiot."

XOXOXO

A/N: Haha I had soooooo much fun with this oneshot! Gotta love Blaise.

Review please!

**Update: OK, I've gotten some reviews that say that this is a plot from the tv show Friends. I just want to say that any relevance is purely a coincidence. I have never ever watched an episode of Friends. EVER! **

XOXO

Flame


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